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Funny Story Books in English are a simple and enjoyable way to improve your reading skills while having fun. This collection brings together short humorous stories adapted for English language learners. The stories use simple vocabulary, clear sentences, and everyday situations, so they are suitable for beginners who want to practice English through entertaining reading.
Some stories are very short jokes, while others are longer funny stories with unexpected endings. You can read them for pleasure, learn useful English words, and practice basic grammar at the same time. The collection also includes links to other funny stories for different English levels, so learners can find stories that match their reading ability.
These stories have been rewritten and adapted especially for English language learners.
These stories have been rewritten especially for English language learners.
Contents
A Very Good Investment
James was ten years old. His father was a businessman.
One day, his father said, “James, you are going to be a businessman one day. I want to teach you about money.”
His father gave James fifty cents.
“Go into town,” he said. “Use this money carefully. Put it in a safe place. Try to make more money.”
James took the money and went into town. He walked around for some time. He looked for a good place for his money.
After a while, he saw a church.
There was a meeting in the church. People were singing, and a man was talking about helping poor people in other countries.
The man asked people to give money.
He said, “If you give your money to God, God will give it back to you. He will give you twice as much!”
James listened carefully. He thought, “This is a very good investment!”
So James put his fifty cents on the church collection plate. Then he went home. About an hour later, James came home.
His father asked, “Well, James, what did you do with your money?”
“I made a very good investment,” James said. “I will get one hundred percent more!”
His father was very happy.
“Wonderful!” he said. “Where did you put your money?”
“I gave it to a man at the church,” James answered.
His father was surprised.
“You gave your money to the church?”
“Yes,” said James. “The man said God would give it back to me. He said I would get twice as much.”
“Oh, James!” his father said. “You believed him? You will never see that money again! That man was not telling the truth.”
Then his father gave James another dollar.
“Here is another chance,” he said. “This time, be careful. Stay away from churches and meetings!”
James smiled.
“But, Father,” he said, “the man was right!”
His father looked at him.
“Why?”
“Because God already gave my money back,” James said. “He gave it back sooner than I expected—and he gave me twice as much!”
His father was very surprised. James had his fifty cents back, and he also had another dollar from his father.
For James, it really was a very good investment!
— THE END –
Vocabulary
1. Businessman — a person who works in business
His father was a businessman.
2. Money — something we use to buy things
I want to teach you about money.
3. Safe — not dangerous
Put it in a safe place.
4. Church — a place where Christians pray
After a while, he saw a church.
5. Give — to let someone have something
The man asked people to give money.
6. Twice — two times
He gave it back to me twice as much.
Comprehension Questions
- How old was James?
- What was James’s father?
- How much money did his father give him first?
- Where did James put his fifty cents?
- What did the man at the church promise?
- Why did James think it was a very good investment?
Grammar Exercises
- James _ ten years old.
a) is
b) are
c) am - His father _ a businessman.
a) am
b) is
c) are - James _ to town.
a) go
b) goes
c) going
- He _ fifty cents to the church.
a) give
b) gives
c) giving - The man _ people to give money.
a) ask
b) asks
c) asking - James _ his father about the money.
a) tell
b) told
c) telling
Answers:
1-a, 2-b, 3-b, 4-b, 5-b, 6-b
MOUNTED?
A man named Sam told his friends about a strange dream.
“I had a dream,” he said. “I died and went to Heaven. I came to a big gate. I wanted to go inside.
St. Peter came to the gate and asked me, ‘Are you mounted?’
I said, ‘No.’
He said, ‘Then you cannot come in.’
I went away. On the way down, I met Colonel White. He was running for Congress.
I told him, ‘You cannot go inside if you are not mounted. You should go back and get a horse.’
But Colonel White had another idea.
“No,” he said. “You can be my horse. I can ride on your back. Then we can go to the gate together.”
So I got down on my hands and knees. Colonel White got on my back.
We went to the big gate. Colonel White knocked on the door.
St. Peter opened the door a little.
“Who is there?” he asked.
“Colonel White from Kentucky,” said the colonel.
St. Peter asked, “Are you mounted?”
“Yes, I am,” said Colonel White.
“Welcome, Colonel!” said St. Peter. “Please leave your horse outside the gate and come in!”
Colonel White looked at Sam.
The joke was on him!
— THE END –
Vocabulary
1. Dream — a story or picture that you see when you sleep
“I had a dream,” he said.
2. Heaven — a beautiful place where good people go after death
“I died and went to Heaven.”
3. Gate — a door in a wall or fence
I came to a big gate.
4. Inside — in a place or building
I wanted to go inside.
5. Horse — a large animal that people can ride
You should go back and get a horse.
6. Ride — to sit on and travel on a horse or animal
You can ride on my back.
7. Knock — to hit a door to get someone’s attention
Colonel White knocked on the door.
8. Welcome — to say that you are happy someone has come
“Welcome, Colonel!” said St. Peter.
Comprehension Questions
- Who told the story about the strange dream?
- Where did Sam go in his dream?
- Who was at the big gate?
- What did St. Peter ask Sam?
- Why could Sam not go inside?
- Who did Sam meet on the way down?
- What did Colonel White ride?
- What did St. Peter tell Colonel White to leave outside?
Grammar Exercises
- I _ a strange dream.
a) have
b) had
c) having - Sam _ to Heaven.
a) go
b) goes
c) went - He wanted to go _ the gate.
a) inside
b) on
c) at - Colonel White _ on the door.
a) knock
b) knocked
c) knocking
- _ can be my horse.
a) You
b) Your
c) Yours - Colonel White got _ Sam’s back.
a) in
b) on
c) at - St. Peter _ the door.
a) open
b) opened
c) opening - Choose the correct sentence.
a) He is a horse.
b) He are a horse.
c) He am a horse.
Answers:
1-b, 2-c, 3-a, 4-b, 5-a, 6-b, 7-b, 8-a.
A Funny Story About Lincoln
During the war, a man came to President Abraham Lincoln.
He wanted to talk about General B——. The general was not a good commander. He did not do well in any place.
The man said, “Mr. President, perhaps we should give General B—— a different job.”
Lincoln thought for a moment.
“Yes,” he said. “General B—— does not fit anywhere.”
Then Lincoln told him a story.
“Once, I was working in the woods. I found a piece of iron. I thought, ‘This can make a good axe.’ So I took it to a blacksmith.
The blacksmith looked at the iron.
‘Yes,’ he said. ‘It can make a good axe.’
He put the iron into the fire. It became very hot. Then he put it on his anvil and hit it with his hammer.
He worked on it for a long time. Finally, he stopped.
‘No,’ he said. ‘This will not make a good axe. But it can make a good clevis.’
So I said, ‘Okay. Make a clevis.’
The blacksmith put the iron into the fire again. He made it very hot and hit it with his hammer again.
He worked for a long time. Then he stopped and looked at the iron.
‘No,’ he said. ‘It will not make a clevis, either.’
Then he held the hot iron over a tub of water.
‘But I know one thing it can make,’ he said. ‘It can make a very good fizzle!’
Then he dropped the hot iron into the water.
Fizz!
The water made a funny sound.
Lincoln smiled and said, “And that was all the iron was good for—a fizzle.”
The story made his point clear: sometimes a person may not be good for one job, or another job, or any job at all.
— THE END –
Vocabulary
1. War — a time when countries or groups fight
During the war, a man came to President Abraham Lincoln.
2. Commander — a person who leads soldiers
The general was not a good commander.
3. Woods — an area with many trees
Once, I was working in the woods.
4. Iron — a strong metal
I found a piece of iron.
5. Blacksmith — a person who works with hot metal
So I took it to a blacksmith.
6. Hammer — a tool used to hit things
He hit it with his hammer.
Comprehension Questions
1. Who came to President Abraham Lincoln?
2. What was General B—— not good at?
3. Where was Lincoln working when he found the iron?
4. What did Lincoln think the iron could make first?
5. Who worked on the piece of iron?
6. What happened when the blacksmith put the hot iron into the water?
Grammar Exercises
- Lincoln _ working in the woods.
a) is
b) was
c) are
- A man _ to President Lincoln.
a) come
b) came
c) coming
- The blacksmith _ the hot iron.
a) hit
b) hits
c) hitting
4. Lincoln found _ piece of iron.
a) a
b) an
c) the
- The iron _ very hot.
a) were
b) are
c) was
- He took the iron _ a blacksmith.
a) to
b) in
c) at
Answers
1-b, 2-b, 3-a, 4-b, 5-c, 6-a.
Brandied Peaches
Tom and his wife had some guests at their home. The guests were in the living room. They were talking and laughing.
Before dinner, Tom’s wife called him to the dining room.
“Tom, I have a problem,” she said. “I only have brandied peaches for dessert. But Dr. Brown is here. He is a minister, and he does not drink alcohol.”
Tom did not know what to do.
“I am sorry,” he said. “It is too late to make another dessert. We must hope everything is okay.”
After dinner, they brought the peaches to the table.
Dr. Brown ate one peach. He liked it very much.
“This is very good!” he thought.
Then Tom’s wife asked him, “Would you like another peach?”
“No, thank you,” Dr. Brown said. “But I would like a little more of the juice!”
He did not know that the juice had alcohol in it.
— THE END –
Vocabulary
1. Guest — a person who comes to your home
Tom and his wife had some guests at their home.
2. Problem — something that is difficult or needs an answer
“Tom, I have a problem,” she said.
3. Dinner — the main meal of the evening
After dinner, they brought the peaches to the table.
4. Dessert — sweet food that you eat after a meal
I only have brandied peaches for dessert.
5. Minister — a person who leads a church
He is a minister, and he does not drink alcohol.
6. Peach — a soft, sweet fruit with a large seed
Dr. Brown ate one peach.
7. Juice — the liquid from a fruit or vegetable
But I would like a little more of the juice!
8. Home — the place where you live
Tom and his wife had some guests at their home.
Comprehension Questions
- Who had guests at their home?
- Where were the guests before dinner?
- What problem did Tom’s wife have?
- What dessert did Tom’s wife have?
- Who was Dr. Brown?
- Did Dr. Brown like the peach?
- What did Dr. Brown ask for more of?
- Did Dr. Brown know that the juice had alcohol in it?
Grammar Exercises
- Tom _ some guests at his home.
a) have
b) has
c) having - They _ talking and laughing.
a) was
b) were
c) is - Dr. Brown _ one peach.
a) eat
b) eats
c) ate - He _ not drink alcohol.
a) do
b) does
c) is
- They brought the peaches _ the table.
a) to
b) on
c) at - Dr. Brown _ the peach very much.
a) like
b) liked
c) liking - _ you like another peach?
a) Would
b) Are
c) Does - Choose the correct sentence.
a) He like the juice.
b) He likes the juice.
c) He liking the juice.
Answers:
1-b, 2-b, 3-c, 4-b, 5-a, 6-b, 7-a, 8-b.
Hot Summer Day
It’s a hot summer day and Jake and Harry are working hard in the garden. Their friend Ralph is sitting under a tree and drinks a cold drink. Jake asks Harry, “Why are we here in the hot sun when Ralph is sitting there?” Harry says, “I don’t know, I will go ask him.”
Harry goes to Ralph and asks him, “Why are you sitting here and drinking a cold drink and Jake and I are working in the hot sun?”
Ralph says, “Because I have smarts.”
“What is smarts?” asks Harry. Ralph puts his hand in front of the tree and says, “Hit my hand very hard.” Harry tries to hit Ralph’s hand but Ralph moves his hand and Harry hits the tree. He feels great pain.
Ralph says, “I moved my hand away. I showed you that I have smarts.” Harry goes back to Jake and Jake asks him, “What did he say?”
Ralph says, “It’s because he has smarts.“
“What’s that?” Jake asks. Harry puts his hand in front of his face and says, “Hit my hand!”
— THE END –
Vocabulary
1. Hot — having a high temperature
It is a hot summer day.
2. Garden — a place where plants and flowers grow
Jake and Harry are working in the garden.
3. Tree — a tall plant with a strong trunk and branches
Ralph is sitting under a tree.
4. Drink — something that you can drink
Ralph has a cold drink.
5. Pain — a bad feeling in your body
Harry feels great pain.
6. Smart — able to think and understand things well
Ralph says that he is smart.
Comprehension Questions
1. What are Jake and Harry doing in the garden?
2. Where is Ralph sitting?
3. What is Ralph drinking?
4. Why does Ralph say he is sitting under the tree?
5. What happens when Harry tries to hit Ralph’s hand?
6. What does Ralph say he has?
Grammar Exercises
1. It ___ a hot summer day.
a) am
b) is
c) are
2. Jake and Harry ___ working in the garden.
a) is
b) am
c) are
3. Ralph ___ under a tree.
a) sit
b) sits
c) sitting
4. Ralph ___ a cold drink.
a) has
b) have
c) having
5. Harry ___ great pain after hitting the tree.
a) feel
b) feels
c) feeling
6. Ralph ___ his hand away.
a) move
b) moves
c) moving
Answers:
1-b, 2-c, 3-b, 4-a, 5-b, 6-b.
Game
A sad man walks into a bar, and the barman asks him what the problem is.
“My life is horrible,” the man says. “Every night, I play a game of chess with my wife, and every night she beats me.”
“Well, why don’t you stop playing chess?” the barman asks.
“I love the game,” the man says, “I’m a genius. I never lose.”
The barman doesn’t understand. “But you say that your wife always beats you.”
“Well,” the man says, “She doesn’t like to lose.”.
— THE END –
Vocabulary
1. Sad — feeling unhappy
The man is sad.
2. Problem — something that is wrong or difficult
The man tells the barman about his problem.
3. Game — an activity that people play for fun
The man loves the game of chess.
4. Chess — a game for two people with black and white pieces
The man plays chess with his wife.
5. Beat — to win against someone in a game
His wife always beats him.
6. Lose — to not win a game
The man says, “I never lose.”
Comprehension Questions
1. Where does the sad man go?
2. What game does the man play with his wife?
3. Who always beats the man?
4. Why doesn’t the man stop playing chess?
5. What does the man say about himself?
6. Why does the man’s wife always win?
Grammar Exercises
1. The man ___ sad.
a) am
b) is
c) are
2. He ___ chess with his wife.
a) play
b) plays
c) playing
3. His wife always ___ him.
a) beat
b) beats
c) beating
4. The man ___ the game.
a) love
b) loves
c) loving
5. The barman ___ understand the man.
a) don’t
b) doesn’t
c) isn’t
6. The man says, “I never ___.”
a) lose
b) loses
c) losing
Answers:
1-b, 2-b, 3-b, 4-b, 5-b, 6-a.
Photographer
A photographer for a national magazine wants to take pictures of a great forest fire. His boss tells him that a small plane will wait for him at the airport. The plane will fly him over the fire.
The photographer comes to the airport only an hour before sunset. A small airplane is waiting there. He jumps in with his camera and shouts, “Go!” The nervous man who is sitting in the pilot’s cabin starts the plane and soon they’re in the air. There is a strong wind and the plane is making strange moves.
“Fly over the north side of the fire,” says the photographer, “And go very low.”
“Why?” asks the nervous pilot.
“Because I will take pictures!” shouts the photographer. “I’m a photographer, and photographers take pictures!”
The pilot says, “You are not the flight instructor?”
— THE END –
Vocabulary
1. Photographer — a person who takes pictures
The photographer wants to take pictures of the fire.
2. Magazine — a book with news, stories, and pictures
He works for a national magazine.
3. Forest — a large area with many trees
There is a big forest fire.
4. Fire — something that burns and gives heat and light
The fire is very big.
5. Plane — a vehicle that flies in the sky
A small plane is waiting at the airport.
6. Pilot — a person who flies a plane
The pilot starts the plane.
Comprehension Questions
1. What does the photographer want to take pictures of?
2. Where is the small plane waiting?
3. When does the photographer come to the airport?
4. Who is sitting in the pilot’s cabin?
5. Why does the photographer want to fly low?
6. What does the pilot ask the photographer at the end?
Grammar Exercises
1. The photographer ___ pictures.
a) take
b) takes
c) taking
2. The plane ___ at the airport.
a) wait
b) waits
c) waiting
3. The photographer ___ to the airport.
a) come
b) comes
c) coming
4. The pilot ___ the plane.
a) start
b) starts
c) starting
5. There ___ a strong wind.
a) is
b) are
c) am
6. Photographers ___ pictures.
a) take
b) takes
c) taking
Answers:
1-b, 2-b, 3-b, 4-b, 5-a, 6-a.
Swimmer
Mother comes home from a business trip and she asks her little son, “Well, Johnny, how was your life with father when I was away?”
“Everything was fine, mum,” the little boy says. “Daddy took me to the middle of the lake by boat every morning and I swam home alone.”
“Wasn’t it difficult for you to swim?”
“Oh, no, mum, the only problem was that I had to get out of the bag first.”
— THE END –
Vocabulary
1. Business trip — a trip for work
Mother comes home from a business trip.
2. Lake — a large area of water
Daddy takes Johnny to the middle of the lake.
3. Boat — a small vehicle that travels on water
They go to the lake by boat.
4. Swim — to move through water
Johnny swims home alone.
5. Alone — without another person
Johnny swims home alone.
6. Bag — a container used to carry things
Johnny has to get out of the bag first.
Comprehension Questions
1. Where does the mother come home from?
2. Who takes Johnny to the lake?
3. How do they go to the lake?
5. Does Johnny swim home alone?
4. Where does Johnny swim from?
6. What does Johnny have to get out of first?
Grammar Exercises
1. Mother ___ home from a business trip.
a) come
b) comes
c) coming
2. Daddy ___ Johnny to the lake.
a) take
b) takes
c) taking
3. Johnny ___ home alone.
a) swim
b) swims
c) swimming
4. The lake ___ very big.
a) is
b) are
c) am
5. Johnny ___ to get out of the bag.
a) have
b) has
c) having
6. Daddy ___ a boat.
a) has
b) have
c) having
Answers:
1-b, 2-b, 3-b, 4-a, 5-b, 6-a.
The Use Of Riches
One morning, a rich man was traveling on a train. He was from Vermont. He was sitting in a sleeping car.
A tired-looking old man was sitting across from him. The old man was putting on his shoes.
He looked at the rich man and asked, “My friend, are you a rich man?”
The rich man looked surprised.
“Yes,” he said. “I am quite rich.”
The old man waited for a moment.
Then he asked, “How rich are you?”
The rich man answered, “I have about seven or eight hundred thousand dollars.”
The old man looked at him.
Then he smiled and said, “I see.”
The rich man asked, “Why do you ask?”
The old man said, “Well, if I were as rich as you, I would travel in a whole sleeping car.”
The rich man looked surprised again.
The old man continued, “You snore very loudly when you sleep.”
He smiled and said, “So, if I were you, I would pay for the whole car!”
The rich man did not know what to say. The old man smiled and put on his other shoe.
— THE END –
Vocabulary
- Rich — having a lot of money
My friend, are you a rich man? - Train — a vehicle that carries people on a railway
One morning, a rich man was traveling on a train. - Tired — needing rest or sleep
A tired-looking old man was sitting across from him.
- Sleep — to rest with your eyes closed
You snore very loudly when you sleep. - Whole — all of something
I would travel in a whole sleeping car. - Pay — to give money for something
If I were you, I would pay for the whole car!
Comprehension Questions
1. Where is the rich man traveling?
2. Who is sitting across from the rich man?
3. Is the rich man very rich?
4. How much money does the rich man have?
5. Why does the old man want a whole sleeping car?
6. What does the old man say about the rich man’s snoring?
Grammar Exercises
- The rich man _ traveling on a train.
a) is
b) are
c) am - The old man _ sitting across from him.
a) am
b) is
c) are - The rich man _ about seven hundred thousand dollars.
a) have
b) has
c) having
- The old man _ his shoes.
a) is putting on
b) are putting on
c) am putting on - The rich man _ surprised.
a) look
b) looks
c) looking - The old man says, “You _ very loudly when you sleep.”
a) snore
b) snores
c) snoring
Answers
1-a, 2-b, 3-b, 4-a, 5-b, 6-a
A College Trick
Many years ago, there was a small college in Ohio, USA.
The college was not rich. Many students were poor. They did not have much money for food or a room.
Two students lived in a small room. They cooked, ate, studied, and slept there.
They kept their food under their bed. At that time, beds were different from modern beds. They had ropes under them.
One day, the two students had a funny idea.
They wanted to play a trick on Professor John. He was the teacher who took care of their building.
The two students found a large empty barrel. Then they started to collect stones.
Every day, they secretly carried stones to their room. They put the stones into the barrel.
After many days, the barrel was full of stones. The students had a plan.
At night, they wanted to take the barrel to the top of the stairs. Then they wanted to push it down the stairs.
The barrel would make a lot of noise. The students wanted to scare Professor John.
One night, the two students moved the heavy barrel.
“Be quiet,” one student said. “Do not push it yet. Wait for me.”
They slowly moved the barrel to the top of the stairs. But they did not know something.
Professor John knew about their plan! He was hiding near the stairs. It was dark, so the students could not see him.
The students were ready to push the barrel. Suddenly, Professor John came out.
“What are you doing?” he shouted.
The two students were very afraid. They ran quickly to their room. They tried to close the door, but Professor John put his foot in the door.
The students jumped into their bed. But something funny happened. The bed broke! Someone had cut the ropes under the bed before.
The two students fell down onto the floor. And there was a pan of molasses under the bed!
The students fell into the molasses.
“Oh no! We are in the molasses!” one student cried.
Professor John understood what happened.
He started to laugh. He laughed and laughed. The two students wanted to play a trick on him, but their trick failed.
Professor John went back to his room.
“Poor boys,” he said. “They have had enough punishment.”
And that was the end of the college trick.
— THE END –
Vocabulary
1. College — a place where students study
There was a small college in Ohio, USA.
2. Poor — having little money
Many students were poor.
3. Room — a place in a building where people live or sleep
Two students lived in a small room.
4. Stone — a small piece of rock
They started to collect stones.
5. Stairs — steps that go from one floor to another
They wanted to take the barrel to the top of the stairs.
6. Bed — a place where you sleep
The two students jumped into their bed.
Comprehension Questions
- Where was the small college?
- Why did the students keep food under the bed?
- What did the students put in the barrel?
- Who knew about the students’ trick?
- What happened when the students jumped into the bed?
- What was under the bed?
Grammar Exercises
- There _ a small college in Ohio.
a) is
b) are
c) am - The students _ poor.
a) was
b) were
c) is - They _ stones every day.
a) collect
b) collected
c) collecting
- The students _ into their room.
a) run
b) ran
c) running - Professor John _ about their trick.
a) know
b) knew
c) knowing - The two students _ into the molasses.
a) fall
b) fell
c) falling
Answers:
1-a, 2-b, 3-b, 4-b, 5-b, 6-b
Source: gutenberg.org
Adapted and rewritten for English learners by LearnEnglish-new.com
More Funny Story Books in English
01. Onions and Garlic (for Beginner Levels A1)
Short funny stories in English are a fun way for beginners to practice English. “Onions and Garlic” is a simple and funny story for A1 learners. It uses easy words, short sentences, and simple grammar. Read the story and find out what happens to two brothers who want to become rich.
02. The Lion (For A2 Elementary Level Learners)
A short funny story in English can be a great way to learn new words and enjoy reading at the same time. “The Lion” is a simple and funny story for A2 Elementary English learners. It uses easy vocabulary, short sentences, and simple grammar. Read the story and find out what happens when a proud lion meets an elephant!
03. The Shopkeeper (for Beginner Levels A1)
Welcome to our small joke stories! This funny story has been rewritten for English language learners. It is about a shopkeeper named Mr. Park. He works very hard every day. One day, he goes to the hospital, but he is still thinking about his shop. Read the story and find out what happens!
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