Short funny stories from life

Linda Robinson was very thirsty so she went into a cafe. There was an old woman in the cafe. She was sitting near the door at a table. At her feet, under the table, there was a small dog.  Linda bought a glass of lemonade and some cookies. She sat down at the table next to the old woman.

The old woman sat quietly. She looked lonely. Linda decided to be kind and talk to the old woman. “It is very hot today.” she said.  “Yes, but it is nice inside here.” replied the old woman.

Linda looked at the dog and asked, “Does your dog like people.” The woman answered, “Oh! Yes! She loves people.” Linda wanted to give the dog a cookie. So she asked, “ Does your dog like cookies?”

“They are his favourite food.” said the old lady. Linda was terribly afraid of dogs so she asked, “Does your dog bite?” The old woman smiled and said, “ NO! My dog is very tame. She is even afraid of cats!”

Linda took a cookie in her hand and reached under the table. She put it near the dog’s mouth. But the dog didn’t bite the cookie, she bit her hand! Linda jumped up, spilling her lemonade. She screamed, “I thought you said, your dog didn’t bite.”

The old woman looked at Linda and then at the dog. 

 Then she said, “THAT’S NOT MY DOG!”

Next Funny stories: THE BIRTHDAY PRESENT

Source: eflclassroom.com

funny story in my life

Vocabulary

English Pronunciation Russian Spanish Indian Chinese
dog [dɔg] собака perro कुत्ता
thirsty [‘θɜːstɪ] томимый жаждой sediento प्यासा
Foot ( feet) foot нога pie पैर 腳丫子
buy (bought) [baɪ] покупать comprar खरीद 購買
sit (sat) [sɪt] сидеть sentar बैठिये
quietly [‘kwaɪətlɪ] спокойно tranquilamente चुपचाप 悄悄
lonely [‘ləunlɪ] одинокий solitaria अकेला 孤獨
Decide (decided) [dɪ’saɪd] принимать решение Decidir तय 決定
kind [kaɪnd] добрый tipo मेहरबान
talk [tɔːk] разговаривать hablar बातचीत 談論
inside [ˌɪn’saɪd] внутренность dentro के भीतर
Reply(replied) [rɪ’plaɪ] Ответить respuesta जवाब दे दो 回复
look (looked) [luk] взгляд Mira देखना
Ask (asked) [ɑːsk] спрашивать Pedir पूछना
answer [‘ɑːn(t)sə] отвечать responder उत्तर 回答
Want (wanted) [wɔnt] желать querer चाहते हैं
cookie [‘kukɪ] домашнее печенье Galleta कुकी 曲奇餅
favourite [‘feɪv(ə)rɪt] любимец favorito पसंदीदा 喜愛
food [fuːd] пища comida भोजन 餐飲
terribly [‘terəblɪ] страшно terriblemente बहुत 可怕
bite [baɪt] кусать mordedura काटना
tame [teɪm] приручённый domar पालतू 馴服
afraid [ə’freɪd] испуганный asustado डरा हुआ 害怕
Reach (reached) [riːʧ] вытягивать (особенно руку) alcanzar पहुंच 達到
mouth [mauθ] рот boca मुंह
Jump (jumped) [ʤʌmp] прыгать saltar छलांग
Spill (spilling) [spɪl] проливать derramar शलाका
lemonade  [ˌlemə’neɪd] лимонад limonada नींबु पानी 檸檬汽水
Scream (screamed) [skriːm] пронзительно кричать Gritar चीख 驚叫
Think (thought) [θɪŋk] думать pensar सोच 認為

Short funny stories from life

The Lawyer and the Lexus

A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and tore off the door on the driver’s side.

The lawyer immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up.  

Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined no matter what the body shop did to it.

When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief.  

«I can not believe how materialistic you lawyers are,» the cop said. «You are so focused on your possessions that you don’t notice anything else.»  

«How can you say such a thing?» asked the lawyer.  The cop replied, «Don’t you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you.»  

«My God!» screamed the lawyer. «My Rolex!»

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