Funny stories in english elementary

  Henry Leech was a salesman. He was a good salesman and sold lots of vacuum cleaners. One week, the manager sent Henry into the countryside to sell.  

He drive out of town and stopped at a farmhouse. He knocked on the door and the farmer’s wife opened it. Henry started into his speech immediately.  

“Mam, how much time do you spend sweeping the floors? “ “A lot of time. This is a farm and things get dirty quickly.” said the woman.

“And how much time do you spend beating the carpets?” asked Henry.

“A lot of time. This house gets dusty and my dog also lays on them”

“Well” said Henry, “This is your lucky day.”   Henry showed her his vacuum cleaner and said,   “You can clean the house in 5 minutes with this!”

The farmer’s wife didn’t look interested. Henry took out a big bag of dirt. He opened it and threw it all over the floor. The farmer’s wife was very surprised. Before she could speak Henry said, “ Mam, if this machine doesn’t pick up every last piece of dirt, I will eat all of it!!!!!” The farmer’s wife looked at Henry and said,  

“WELL, I WILL GET YOU A SPOON.    

WE HAVE NO ELECTRICITY.”

Next Funny stories: THE BIRTHDAY PRESENT

Source: eflclassroom.com

Vocabulary

English Pronunciation Russian Spanish Indian Chinese
salesman [‘seɪlzmən] продавец vendedor विक्रेता 推銷員
sell (sold) [sel] продавать vender बेचना
vacuum cleaner [‘vækjuːmˌkliːnə] пылесос aspiradora वैक्यूम क्लीनर 吸塵器
countryside [‘kʌntrɪsaɪd] деревня campo ग्रामीण इलाकों 農村
drive [draɪv] ездить conducir चलाना 駕駛
farmhouse [‘fɑːmhaus] дом на ферме casa de Campo फार्महाउस 農家
speech [spiːʧ] речь habla भाषण 言語
immediately [ɪ’miːdɪətlɪ] немедленно inmediatamente हाथोंहाथ 立即
spend [spend] тратить gastar बिताना
sweeping [‘swiːpɪŋ] уборка barrido झाड़ू मारना 籠統的
floor [flɔː] пол piso मंज़िल 地板
farm [fɑːm] ферма granja खेत 農場
thing [θɪŋ] вещь cosa चीज़ 事情
get [get] получить obtener प्राप्त 得到
dirty [‘dɜːtɪ] грязный sucio गंदा
quickly [‘kwɪklɪ] быстро con rapidez जल्दी जल्दी 很快
Say (said) [seɪ] сказать decir कहना
beating [‘biːtɪŋ] избиение paliza पिटाई 跳動
dusty [‘dʌstɪ] пыльный polvoriento मटमैला 塵土飛揚
lucky [‘lʌkɪ] счастливый suerte सौभाग्यशाली 幸運
Show (showed) [ʃeʊ] показать espectáculo प्रदर्शन 顯示
Take (took) [teɪk] хватать Tomar लेना 採取
Throw (threw) [θrəu] бросать lanzar फेंकना
surprise [sə’praɪz] удивление sorpresa अचरज
can (could) [kæn] уметь poder कर सकते हैं
dirt [dɜːt] грязь suciedad गंदगी 污垢
electricity [ˌelek’trɪsətɪ ] электричество electricidad बिजली 電力

Funny stories in english elementary

The Dog

Linda Robinson was very thirsty so she went into a cafe. There was an old woman in the cafe. She was sitting near the door at a table. At her feet, under the table, there was a small dog.  Linda bought a glass of lemonade and some cookies. She sat down at the table next to the old woman.

The old woman sat quietly. She looked lonely. Linda decided to be kind and talk to the old woman. “It is very hot today.” she said.  “Yes, but it is nice inside here.” replied the old woman.

Linda looked at the dog and asked, “Does your dog like people.” The woman answered, “Oh! Yes! She loves people.” Linda wanted to give the dog a cookie. So she asked, “ Does your dog like cookies?”

“They are his favourite food.” said the old lady. Linda was terribly afraid of dogs so she asked, “Does your dog bite?” The old woman smiled and said, “ NO! My dog is very tame. She is even afraid of cats!”

Linda took a cookie in her hand and reached under the table. She put it near the dog’s mouth. But the dog didn’t bite the cookie, she bit her hand! Linda jumped up, spilling her lemonade. She screamed, “I thought you said, your dog didn’t bite.”

The old woman looked at Linda and then at the dog.    Then she said,  

“THAT’S NOT MY DOG!”

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